Go and Make ______?

Warning: This post is pretty long… make sure that you have a little time to set aside to process through it

A lot of what I have been processing through lately has led me to some interesting conclusions.

Perhaps they aren’t conclusions at all… Maybe they are just more questions.

But, since I’ve been here, I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that there are a ton of people here doing development work. A TON!

Just about every single organization that I have talked with has a different take on development. What works best? What does a Christian development/mission agency look like? How can we make what we’re doing here sustainable after we leave?

Those are all very hard questions, with answers that are rarely black and white.

With all of the organizations and approaches that I have seen over the last few months, I have seen ones that are working great and ones that are doing a really crappy job.

So… I’m trying to figure out what I think about all this. More importantly, what God thinks about this? What does the Bible say regarding missions and development? So… trek with me on this little process of my thoughts.

Jesus gives us two clear commandments: GO and MAKE (Matthew 28:19)

Now… the question becomes… Where are we supposed to go? What are we supposed to make? Those are very important questions to have to right answers to, right?

It seems like we are pretty clear on the GO part of the commandment. We are all pretty sure that Jesus meant for us (the Body of Christ) to go to all nations. It seems like most churches have a pretty good grasp on that. Some are doing much better with it than others, but most Bible-believing churches feel that it is important to at least set aside some money to send people around the world.

However, things start getting really fuzzy when we get to the second part of the commandment. MAKE. What are we commanded to make?

Make money? … No.

Make babies? … No … although not a bad idea!

Make people happy? … No … although widely popular.

Make people not die as fast, and their bellies not stick out so far? … No … although it is a sad tragedy that this is the case in a world full of affluence like we live in.

Make converts to Christianity? … No … although many would disagree with me on that one.

We are commanded to do one thing...

MAKE DISCIPLES.

A disciple is not a convert. A disciple is not just a “Christian” like we have come to understand Christianity today.

A disciple looks a lot like Jesus… not just with their words, but with their entire life.

The reality is… the church has historically done a horrible job of making disciples.

There is a saying that says: “Christianity in Africa is a mile wide, but only an inch deep."

Although, I would have to say that I have met some really amazing followers of Jesus here in Malawi, there are thousands of people that claim to be “Christians”, but know nothing about it. That is of very little fault of their own. I believe that is because the Christianity that we have presented to people places very little value on discipleship. The Disciple-er will be accountable for that one.

OK… So, here is where I want you to follow my thought process. See, the more and more I follow after Jesus and try my hardest to live out His Word, the more I see how much it really is truth. For years, I accepted the Bible as “God’s Word”, but in reality, I really didn’t think it was all that applicable to our culture today. My thoughts always trumped the Bible. My culture always trumped the Bible. But, through experience, I am learning over and over again that as goofy as things in Scripture may seem when you read them, they really are truth… and they really do work!

Back to Malawi…

The reality is, there are problems on so many levels. It’s not just in this country… it’s that way in many developing countries.

There are problems like HIV/AIDS that affect a person and a family at the micro level… but, behind most of the individual problems, you will find a structural problem. These are at the macro level. The government. The cultural norms. Stuff like that.

So, as a missionary that is focusing most of your time on social issues, like helping people with AIDS, or trying to eradicate poverty, you spend your time trying to build things up from the bottom. You work with an individual to empower them, ect.

But, as a foreigner, I’m not allowed to vote. I shouldn’t be making structural changes in a society that is not my own… that needs to come from people within. So, in a way, my hands are tied. Yeah, I can bandage a wound and tell people that Jesus loves them, but I can’t do much that is lasting.

But, if we return to Scripture and heed Jesus’ call to make disciples, a lot of that will be taken care of from within.

A disciple will have a servant’s heart. A disciple will want to fight injustices in their society. A disciple will care for those around them that are suffering. A disciple will fight corruption.

You see where I’m going with this.

Here are the problems that I am seeing…

All of this aid money is flowing into developing countries from the West. However, when it crosses that big ocean, much of it gets filtered through a huge funnel of corruption and selfishness. There are stories all the time of high level officials that are caught using international aid funding for their personal gain. These officials get bigger houses and better cars, and there are still millions that are left starving and dying of preventable diseases in their countries. The problem there is lack of morals. Selfishness. The opposite of Jesus.

Many of the wealthy Malawians that I have met have come from a background of extreme poverty. They have worked their tails off to get out of that position. They have a nice place to live now, and their family is taken care of. But, somewhere in that jump from poverty to comfort, many people have lost their compassion for the poor. I think that many of us would do the exact same thing. Just like in the West, they have had the taste of money, and can't get enough.

I see it a lot even in the churches. Many churches are presenting this half-gospel that tells people that God wants everyone to become rich and “serve no man”. Why should we be surprised that that message is rampant in Africa, when it was born in the West. We have forgotten that the call of Christ is to become lowly. To serve. To sacrifice.

So… here’s my vision.

To see a group of Malawians catch the true heart of Christ.

Don’t get me wrong… there are Malawians that have a greater faith than I can imagine, and are serving their communities in powerful ways.

But, as I sit with a group of youth, who have just finished secondary school and are stepping up to become the new face of Malawi… I just desperately want them to catch the heart of Christ.

I would love to see them take their education… take their talents and gifts… and do things that foreign developmental agencies would never think of doing.

There is so much potential!

So… I think that Jesus was on to something when he just said for us to just “go and makes some disciples”.

Not… go cure all the world’s ills.

Just go and change the way people see the world around them. I mean… that’s basically what the gospel does when it truly penetrates our hearts right? It completely changes the way we think and the way we see.

So… what do you think? I want some thoughts about this. Help me process through this one… Am I being “narrow-minded”? … Where should Christians draw a line?

Seeing Things Through Dusty Eyes...

I first noticed it while I was flying down a bumpy dirt road.

There was dust billowing behind our nice, "safari-style" SUV, so much so that you could barely see anything. But... that's the way it always is.

Now... one of the first things that you learn when you arrive in Malawi, is that roads are only "technically" for cars. There are far more pedestrians walking along the sides of the road than there are actual vehicles.

In the West, when we're driving down a dirt road and see so much as another vehicle, we suddenly slam on the breaks and settle into a mere stroll as we pass the other car. God forbid we expose each other to a bit of dust.

You see... in the West, dust is our enemy. We despise it. At least as far as this white boy is concerned, it better not stay on my skin for very long!

But, as I began to cringe as we stormed past countless people in our SUV, absolutely enveloping them in a cloud of dust that, from my perspective, would surely lead them to an early death from a clogged lung... I noticed something.

No one bats an eye. Or for that matter... no one closes their eyes!

It absolutely baffled me for weeks.

Everyone knows that if you do something like that in America, certain "fingers" would be flying up out of the dust, and certain words would be shouted in the general direction of your car.

But, things are just different here.

Although it took me a little while to figure it out, I'm finally beginning to realize that it seems like dirt is just not at the top of the list of priorities of many people here.

Now... don't misinterpret me. Africans are not just a bunch of dirty heathens, running around eating dirt for dinner. The last thing I want to do is portray that kind of image!

But... for me, it was key to understanding just a little bit more about this culture.

The fact is... in just about every situation, we see things completely different. Our priorities are almost always different.

In the West, we like to be clean. For just about everyone, that's pretty high on the list. We like, not only our bodies to be clean, but we like everything to be clean! Clothes... House (inside and out)... Cars (so everybody will know just how rich we are)... Kids... Pets... Streets... Heck, we even like our drainage ditches to be nice and clean!

You're getting the point right.

Don't get me wrong... I, too, am very particular about being clean! And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing.

But... that's just not the way things are around here. It's not that things couldn't be that way... it's just that people don't really seem to think it's that big of a deal.

I mean... they sweep the trash out of the dirt floors of the houses they live in and all... but at the end of the day, they aren't going to worry about being dirty when they hit the sack... and when I say "sack", I mean that quite literally! In the village, people sleep on no more than a mat that is made from reeds. Cushioning is a mere luxury.

Now... why in the world am I writing about dirt? Am I just trying to make the rest of the world think that Africans are dirty people that are just "primitive"?

Well... I want you to realize that culture is a very powerful thing! And for me... "dirt" was just the beginning of me noticing the differences of how we see things.

There are many things about the way that Malawians see the world that I wish I could ingrain in myself.

Priorities...

For Malawians... People are always priority! It doesn't matter what you were previously doing or are about to start doing... if someone comes over to your house, that plan suddenly doesn't exist anymore. Or it is at the very least, bumped back to a later time. It would just be unheard of for someone to come to you for a visit, and for you to say, "Oh sorry... I was just on my way to the market. You'll have to come back later."

People are always at the top of the list.

Respect is also enormous in this culture!

Everyone knows their place in society, and each person knows exactly how they should relate to others. No one breaks protocol. EVER! You would, under no circumstance, ever refer to an adult by their first name... even if you are an adult as well. Only children are referred to by their first names. That even goes for husband and wife relationships. You call each other Bambo (father or mister) or Mayi (mother or miss). That concept is just so far out of my realm of thought!

The elderly are absolutely revered in Malawi. You would never disrespect an elderly person or question their authority.

Visitors are also given the utmost respect and hospitality. You always bring out your best. Your best seat... your best food... your best time. This was something that was really hard for me at first. As a white visitor, I am placed right up there under God. The whole world stops when I come to visit someone in a village. These people have so very little, yet, they offer me their best. My first reaction is to always want to just reject it and play the lowly foreigner card. I always want to just sit on the ground next to all the ladies rather than in the comfortable chair they have set out for me. It's really hard for me to want to eat the food they prepare for me, when I know that their children aren't going to eat as much because I am there. However, for me to reject their hospitality would be so offensive. Because, they truly mean it. They aren't just going through the motions to save face. They are honored that you are there... always!

Another thing is time. Time is never an issue. Most people don't even know what time it actually is. It's either on the hour or half past the hour. You never get more specific than that. Things are not driven by time, they are driven by events. An event starts when everyone gets there, and it ends when everyone wants to go home. It really doesn't matter how long that takes. That even goes for things like weddings. Now in the West... that's probably one of the most "on time" things that we have. Two minutes before a wedding is supposed to start, the doors close and you better have a seat somewhere! Here... a wedding can be "scheduled" for 3:oo. The bride and groom and preacher probably wont even arrive at the church until 4:00, and the ceremony won't really get underway until around 5:00. No big deal... at the end of the day, they still got married!

Things are just different.

Not bad... just different.

I am reminded of it every time I see people just getting covered in dust without batting an eye, and I brush off my bottom each and every time I get up from sitting on the ground!

Back to Civilization!!

Right now, I'm smiling as big as this guy!

I finally have the internet again!! Today is my birthday, and I couldn't ask for a better present (pretty sad huh?... I'm such an addict!).

For the last 2 weeks, I have been out in a small village, living with an older missionary couple. It was a really amazing time of learning about the culture and people of Malawi, because both of these people have been living in Malawi for all of their lives (60+ years). So, they definitely know the ropes.

I also was able to get away from the busyness of city life and focus in on some simpler things. When all your comforts get taken away from you (i.e. communication with other people), you really begin to see things within yourself. I got to spend a lot of time reading books about the Malawian culture and about the traditional religions of the Chewa people, and it has absolutely blown me away. It's almost too much to comprehend. However, it's really nice to get a grasp on some of these things finally.

Another reason for being in Salima (the village I was at) was to focus intensely on learning the language. I am getting much better at understanding people and actually saying a few things myself. This was becoming a huge frustration for me, so I am really determined to learn as much as I can.

And, while I was there, I was able to check out an orphan ministry that was really an amazing program. It really challenged me and was refreshing to see something that is really working well.

A few of the not so spiritual highlights of the trip were...

Eating goat intestines for the first time! It was right after sitting through nothing less than 5 hours worth of church on Sunday morning in the village. I'm all up for long church services and all... but this one was 100% in another language. And... the night before, I slept on the bed of a truck, under the stars with 2 Malawians that constantly were rolling over on top of me. So... I was just kind of ready to get back to the place where I was staying, take a shower and drink a Fanta.

Then... right after the service, the Abusa (pastor) came up to me and informed me that I would be eating in a "special house" over there with some of the other "important people". I knew exactly what that meant! The insides of the animals (goats, chickens, ect.) are considered a great delicacy around here, and they are only reserved for the honored guests. I was praying that they would not like me that much... but, turns out my skin color gave me away!

So... as we were blessing the food, this is honestly what I did. I just bowed my head and started laughing to myself. I said, "God... you are gonna have to make this taste like a nice filet mignon, some roasted potatoes, and some juicy veggies." And to my surprise, everything tasted quite edible. So... if you're ever offered some goat entrails in the future, go ahead and try some!

The other high point was being able to go to the lake for a Saturday morning. It was quite nice! I wish that a plane ticket wasn't so expensive, because I would definitely like to vacation there more often. It's just like being in the Caribbean except there is no salt! WONDERFUL!

Well... now I am in Lilongwe (the capital of Malawi). I will be here for the next few weeks, working with an AIDS clinic called Partners In Hope. I am really excited about all the things that I will be learning while I am here. I will be staying with a family from New Zealand (the Youngs... you can see their picture by scrolling down a ways)... so, I'm sure my accent will be quite tainted by the time I'm done here. New Zealanders have a crazy wild accent!

There is so much more that I want to write about... but this is a little thrown together in a rush. I will try to get my thoughts together and post some more in the near future.

For now, enjoy some of the pictures that I have taken in the last 2 weeks...

All Over the World... People Just Like Us...

One of my very favorite things about being here in Malawi is that I work on an international team. This is also probably my favorite thing about SIM (the mission agency I am working with). SIM has 10 different sending agencies around the world! We are "intentionally international".

For some reason, in America, we seem to have this thought that we are the one's going around saving the world all by ourselves. That we are the missions hub. That everything "Christian" is born in the USA.

I have been so refreshingly surprised since I have been here! I have seen that the American way isn't always the best way of doing things... Shocking... I know! I work on a team that is comprised of 8 different nationalities. That's usually at least 8 different ways of looking at a situation.

It's challenging.

It's refining.

It's a beautiful picture of Christianity.

Some of the things that come out of my mouth are a bit foreign these days...

I say things like Tea instead of Dinner... You guys instead of y'all... Rubbish Bin instead of Trash Can.

I drink hot tea a good 2-3 times every day!

I have learned how to be hospitable. There is this cool understanding around here that pretty much any time someone walks in your house, you put on the kettle and offer them either tea or coffee or a cold drink. And it's not just some kind of polite offer that you don't expect to be taken up on... almost every time, you actually sit down, relax and share a drink with whoever it is. I love it!

So... I would like to introduce you to the chaps (my new Aussie word) that I have been running with these days...

The Richters
Hans-Joerg, Andrea, Philip, Telea, Liala and Elias

They are from Germany originally... now the reside about 10 yards from my front door! The four kids run in and out of my house with there little German accents on a very regular basis. Hans-Joerg is the administrator guy for SIM Malawi. He also oversees the medical clinics that we have in southern Malawi. Like any German... he knows how to get things done!

The Hammonds
Mike, Jackie, Joshua and Christopher

These are my Aussie buddies! Australians are a pretty fun group of people to be around ... and I love their accents!! Mike and Jackie are the project managers for the HOPE for AIDS part of SIM Malawi. So, they are pretty much my bosses. They're great though. They have such a heart for the people here in Malawi.

The Hannahs
Ryan, Heidi, Caleb, Ben and Faith

Ryan is the country director for SIM Malawi. So, he's the big dog around here. As if you couldn't tell from the photo... they're from the US. The four short-termers get to hang out with the Hannahs every Friday night for dinner and games. That's always a fun time!

The Fazakerlys
Megumi, Helen, Josh, Elizabeth and Mary

Megumi is an administrator at the Evangelical Bible College of Malawi. He is from Japan and Helen is from the UK (but grew up as a missionary kid here in Malawi). They live two doors down from me and are lots of fun!

The Youngs
Jim, Diane and kids

They live up in Lilongwe... so I haven't really got to hang out with them much apart from taking this photo! However, I will be heading to Lilongwe this month for about 3 weeks... so, I'm sure they will become new friends. They are from New Zealand. Jim is the Education (Sunday School) guy for the African Evangelical Church as a whole and Diane is a doctor in one of the clinics in Lilongwe.

Candy Getz

Candy is the Short-term Coordinator. So, she's the person that makes sure I have a water filter and place to lay my head down at night. She is from the US as well.

Cynthia Innes

Cynthia is from Canada. She is here for about the same time that I am doing communications stuff. So, basically her job is to let the rest of the world know what kinds of great things God is doing here in Malawi. What a cool job!! She has a blog too...

Margs Hall

Margs flew in the country the same day that I did. She is from New Zealand and is here for 2-1/2 months doing communications stuff as well. She claims to speak English... but half the words she uses I have to ask for a definition!!

SIM Malawi also has several other families that are part of our team. Some live in different parts of the country... they are all doing really great work here in Malawi, and I admire them so much.

Basically the point of this post is to shed some light on the fact that we aren't the only one's out there. There are people all over the world that share the same passion and vision that we do, even if they speak different language or eat their main meal in the middle of the day.

Another interesting note... SIM's Korean sending office is the fastest growing of all of the sending offices! They will soon be tailing the US office in the number of missionaries they are sending around the world... that's just awesome!

**chirp chirp...chirp chirp...**

Have you ever eaten by yourself?

Well... that's a stupid question. We've all eaten by ourselves...

What I mean is, have you ever eaten all by yourself?

I mean, it was only a few short months ago when I was a lowly college student. I was really accustomed to eating by myself (well, until I learned the best kept secret in town... dinner at the Hendricks!). But, there were those few and far between nights when I would cook myself a nice meal and eat on the couch with no one else around.

It was OK though. See... back in college, I had this perfect system. I would start cooking at like 5:30 or 6:00... It was all about the TBS primetime! While I was cooking, I could watch Seinfeld, which really wasn't all that important to me, but it made for some good background noise. Then, usually by the time I was done in the kitchen, I would park it on the couch just in time to have dinner with my favorite dysfunctional family... the Barones... Everybody Loves Raymond baby!! Then, if I didn't have anything going on that night, I would just keep sitting for another hour or so and catch some Friends.

It was a really nice routine... not gonna lie!

But, that's not what I'm talking about...

I said have you ever eaten all by yourself...

Just you...

You and the food on your plate.

Well... I have now had that experience on quite a few occasions. Now... before you start shedding a tear for me or all start calling me at dinner time so I have to talk with my mouth full, this isn't an "everyone have pity on Ryan" post. Those posts will come later... just kidding!

But, if you haven't... I challenge you to try it. I'm not really saying it's some awesome experience or anything, but at least you can say you've done it.

Here's what my experience has been...

I cook this awesome meal (we're talking "awesome" in African terms... don't think that I'm the next up and coming chef or anything), then I walk on into my living room, park it on the couch, and then sit there awkwardly. It's like the whole time I'm expecting a TV to magically appear and the remote to be handed to me by the angel Gabriel (if you're wanting something to be praying about... there's your suggestion)!

I feel like Pavlov's Dog! I'm conditioned to reach for that remote control. It's so weird... you would think that I would be a little more comfortable with myself. I mean, I know there isn't going to be a TV magically appearing... but, that doesn't stop me from getting online and trying to find a short video to keep me occupied. Even then, I know my internet is nothing short of an evolved turtle, and I won't be able to get anything from that. (*Side note: I really did try that tonight! I'm such a loser!!)

Other times, I will just leave a book open beside me. It's impossible for me to actually read anything while I'm chewing (you should try that as well)... but, it's like a security blanket or something.

But... I really think there is a lot to learn about yourself when it's just you, the food on your plate, and the dogs barking outside down the street. I don't think I've ever really noticed what the refrigerator sounds like... but I do now!

If you're waiting for me to break out into something super spiritual, don't get your hopes too high. This is just an observation. It's actually what I was thinking while I was eating by myself tonight! No joke... my plate is sitting right next to me right now as I type, begging for me to give it a bath.

So... if you have some spiritual connection that you want to make here... please, use the comment section to tell the world... well, at least tell me! That would be really helpful!

But, if you haven't ever experienced it, you should go for. I mean... in order to really do this in the States, you may have to go to the bathroom and just eat on the toilet or something... that could be the only room that lacks a TV in the house.

OK, now I'm just rambling.

Like I said... don't feel sorry for me or anything. I'm not about to slit my wrist because I don't have anyone staring at me while I eat. I'm OK!

But... don't take company and community for granted. It's such a beautiful thing!

If you're not a regular here, and are looking for something a little more serious and about Africa... keep reading...

Tomatoes in Spaghetti

Tonight I sit. I sit and wonder where to begin. The depths of this culture, and the weight of its problems have just been splattered in my face like a child sneaking up behind me and squirting me in the eyes with a water pistol. No warning. Completely caught off guard. I find myself blinded by the very thing I'm attempting to wrap my head around.

Disillusioned. I feel a bit disillusioned about what is really happening around me. I guess when it all comes at you at once, you just kind of throw up both fists and close your eyes. I read all these books and do my best to be an activist when I'm in the US, but when I get here and those words on the pages are suddenly selling me tomatoes in the market, I find it hard to transfer. How do I get from ink on a page to real skin and bones with blood flowing through their veins?

I guess it's human nature. When you encounter things of such extreme magnitude, the human mind must just slip on its magical glasses that allows you to look directly at someone and not have a clue about what they live like each day. For some extremely odd reason, it is easier for me to ignore poverty over here. Did I just write that? Even in my head, it makes absolutely no sense! I don't know how I can live on the same piece of property as a man, his wife, two children and flock of chickens, and never pause to think about what he must be thinking about. What does poverty feel like? What does your stomach feel like, in the depths of you, when you are malnourished?

Terms. We love terms. We like it even more to just put a term on someone.

Orphan... A child with no parents. That's easy enough. I can sleep comfortably at night with that term. How does it feel to watch and attempt to process through your parents dieing in front of your very eyes at the age of four? It's completely out of my realm of thought. What does it feel like now, five years later, when the people taking care of you have lost interest in you? You feel like you're not human? "Do I deserve this?", you must think. "Maybe I do deserve this. Maybe I am second class."

Poverty. Apparently this term puts you under some imaginary line that we've formulated. When someone is "below the poverty line" we can easily wash out their face and chunk them in the pile with the rest of the faceless numbers that we like to strategize about. What does it feel like? What goes through your head when you know these few bites of nsima aren't going to keep your child from waking up half-way through the night screaming for more to eat? Does it seem harder to breathe when you feel the weight of all your problems stacking up on your head like water basin after water basin? Do you live in fear that at any second, you'll step on a rock, loose balance, and the water will plummet to the ground?

Poverty. We just love that word! We love to slap it on the covers of trendy magazines. Toss it around over a cup of coffee with friends. Say it oh so strategically in a campaign speech. It's just become one of those "all-American words" these days. We love that word! But, I hate what that word has done in me! Like a dusty wind, it has dried all the tears from my eyes. If it's too hard to grasp what it feels like, then I guess I just shouldn't even bother reaching.

So, I find myself at the market, starring into the eyes of a person... not a word on a page in a book on my shelf in my air-conditioned house. This is real. This person has kids, probably playing around behind the market, waiting for their mom to sell just a few more tomatoes and maybe tonight they will be able to have a nibble of chicken with their nsima. So, I look at this person. What do I see? I see a blur. They are talking, but I simply hear words. I'm thinking about two things... tomatoes and kwacha (money). Surely 15 cents is entirely too much for four tomatoes, I must get her down to 12 cents. So... I do. And I walk home with my bags full of vegetables and my pockets full of kwacha... and I make spaghetti.

What did tomato lady do tonight? You think that even passed through my mind? She lives over in that distant place called "poverty". At some point I will devise a cure-all program for her and all the rest of her faceless friends. But, for tonight... there's spaghetti... and it tastes good!! When I'm done with that, I'll make some tea, grab a book and read a little... write in my journal about that place called "poverty" and then mosey on to bed. Of course, not before a nice bath at just the right temperature.

Man... that spaghetti sure was good!

That was an excerpt from my journal a few nights ago. I just had this huge urge to do something artsy. This was after thumbing through a copy of Relevant Magazine... that always gets my creative juices flowing! If I would have had a paint brush, I would have just painted... but I didn't. So, I wrote.

As I began to write, the Lord began to bring together a lot of what I had been experiencing over the last month. Things that I have been guilty of. Things that I hate in myself, but they are true. They are sneaky and true!

When I was finished writing, I read back through it. For the first time since I have been here, I just began to weep. Weeping for the people around here. Weeping because even still, I don't get it. Weeping because I am still so selfish.

I just began to beg God to change my eyes. To give me the ability to look at the crowds with compassion. To soften my heart. To see people as people... not numbers.

Perhaps this is just the beginning of the process God is taking me through to help me understand things around here a little better.

A Bit Like Jonah...

It's so easy around here to loose focus.

Living in Blantyre, I am torn between two worlds. I am able to enjoy many "western" conveniences such as internet, electricity, good food, cold drinks, ect.

If I'm not careful, my human nature just starts to come out, and I start thinking about me.

Don't get me wrong, thinking about me is fun! I love to think about me. Besides... I have come all the way across the world, away from my friends and family... away from high speed internet... away from food that takes less than an hour to prepare... away from coffee shops and watching movies with friends... Don't I deserve to think about me?

It comes in such disguising ways here though. In ways that most people would argue are not wrong at all. Satan convinces me that it's OK to be wrapped up in myself.

When the things that I wrap myself up in for security are suddenly taken away ... maybe it's a routine power outage just when I'm wanting to chill at night ... maybe it's slow internet ... maybe it's a extra hot night to sleep through ... maybe it's that I'm dieing for a cold drink and just can't seem to get my hands on one! When these things come up, I just get selfish! I pout!!

Although I haven't found myself swimming around in the belly of a whale lately (knock on wood), I remind myself of Jonah.

Jonah was sent by God to a different land to speak the words of the Lord to a people that were going astray. Things weren't really going his way... he didn't really see what the point of traveling all the way to this distant land was.

It was HOT!

He was uncomfortable!!

Jonah found his security in a vine that gave him shade.
For me, this would be an ice cold Coke just when I can't take it anymore.

When the Lord took that security away from him, he pouted. He had forgot what his purpose for being in this distant land was. I think that he fell into maintenance mode. All his concerns were wrapped up in maintaining what was comfortable for him.

God's response to Jonah's pouting about his circumstances was:

"You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Ninevah has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"
Jonah 4.10-11

I am constantly reminding myself that I cannot fall into the same sin that Jonah fell into.

Selfishness.

I too am surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people that are suffering without the hope of something greater. I don't have time to sit around and worry about myself. For some reason, the Lord has sent me to this place for a purpose. I can't loose sight of that.

Although I don't care to end up the way Jonah did in his selfishness, I wouldn't mind being thrown in the beginning of that story where Jonah is able to swim around for a few days in the belly of a whale! That would be nothing short of ecstasy for me right now in the heat of October in Malawi!

Sitting... Waiting...

You're looking at an ant hill!!!

It's not a one of a kind either. They are everywhere. I didn't really realize that they were ant hills until I asked though. I thought to myself... I have to blog about this 8th wonder of the world. Pretty impressive huh?

Well... I saw this ant hill while I was out in a village called Chapananga. This 3 day adventure was rather uneventful. I was actually pretty bummed that I was going to have to think of something cool and crazy to write about in order to live up to my previous posts, and all I got was an ant hill. Let's face it... that's not going to keep the crowds coming back to this blog!!

I mean... there were other interesting points. It was HOT! I mean... HOT!!! The first night was absolutely miserable. I laid on the floor of this shack that had little to no ventilation, just praying that the Lord would get me though. I was pouring with sweat. I was just thinking how horrible Hell must really be!

I was so ready to just go home to my house of refuge in Blantyre. I was so tired of eating nsima and goat that I would just eat a few bites each time. So, I was delighted when we were in the car driving back to Blantyre, which is only a 2 hour drive, by noon! That would mean that I would be sitting comfortably in my house, eating a nice late lunch, and then cooking something super American for dinner!!

Apparently God wanted to teach me a few lessons before that though.

As we were be-bopping down the bumpy dirt road about 5 Km out of Chapananga, our car makes this loud crash, bang sound!! My heart just sank. All my hopes of refuge just flew out the window into that vast African countryside that surrounded me. It wasn't funny or adventurous or one of those "oh cool, now I have a story to tell" moments... I was at the end of my rope!

I jumped out of the car and saw a part that looked rather important laying about 20 yards back. It was obvious that we would be going nowhere soon! Worse yet... we were still out of cell phone coverage. Surprisingly, most of Malawi has cell coverage. However, lucky us... we were about 40 Km away from being able to call anyone. So, there we sat... Thomas and I... on the side of a lonely dirt road. Waiting...

Well... another truck passed by after a little while and went ahead to the next town to send a mechanic our way. Great!! We'll be on the road shortly! Keep in mind that it's 12:00... I only reluctantly ate a few bites of that goat earlier, because I just knew that I would be home in a few short hours. Now, we're on the side of a hot road with just water. Again, waiting....

About an hour later, in the distance we see 2 bicycles heading our way. It was the mechanic and his assistant!! I was a little disappointed to see that he was only carrying a wrench and screwdriver. However, this guy was a stud!! At first glance, he determined that the back right spring that holds the axle and wheel up had busted! This caused the whole axle to shift backwards and the propeller shaft to come loose... which is what the horrible crashing sound was. Now... I know very little about cars... but, I knew that this would be no small job!


So... the mechanic takes off the wheel and spring, straps it to the back of his bike and heads back to town to weld it back together.

So... by this time it's 2:00. Our estimate was that he would be back by 3:00, have everything fixed by 4:00... we'd be in Blantyre by 6:00. Not what we planned... but, we could live with that.

So... we waited. We waited longer. I took a short nap... and then waited longer!!

Then, in the distance, I heard some beating drums. They got closer and closer. Finally, over the horizon, we see this huge group of people walking down the road, dancing to drums. As they would pass by villages, people would come to the road, and their numbers would increase. They ended up stopping real close to us at the chief's house.

They were a cult-like group called Zionists. Basically, they dance around in circles until they get all trance-like, and then they start prophesying about the future. So... I pulled out my camera and thought... I gotta catch this stuff in action.

It was freaky... not gonna lie!! I was actually a little nervous. I was really apprehensive about taking pictures of them. First off... when you're the only white person in a group of a hundred, all eyes are always on you! So... the cult leader people would just look at me, and I just knew that at any moment, they were going to start prophesying something crazy about me, and I would be roasted on a stick or something! But, everything turned out OK.


But... It still was a little freaky for me. It's so sad to see how easily people around here are led astray though. They are so easily captivated by stuff that looks really miraculous.

Anyway... the mechanics finally returned!! Now it's about 4:30 or so.

It seemed like one thing after another would pose a problem. Things just weren't moving fast! My worst fears seemed to be approaching reality. I just knew that I was going to have to go back to that horrible place and sleep in the heat once more!! The very thought of eating nsima for another meal literally made me just want to throw up and start crying.

The sun went down, but they were still working. At one point, I seriously just started praying over our car. I know that sounds crazy... but, God is sovereign, and if he can heal people, there is no doubt in my mind that he can heal SUVs as well!

Well... 8 hours later, the ignition was started and lo and behold that car was rolling!! I wanted to hug everyone that was standing around me!!!

The craziest part was... for 8 hours of labor, plus the cost of welding the parts back... the mechanic only charged us about $15!!!

So... I got the message loud and clear. I am not allowed to pout! Just when I start getting whiny and acting like a spoiled Westerner... it only took 8 hours to realize how easily all my securities can be taken away. I got to see sort of first hand how it feels to live without some of these securities that I take for granted on a daily basis. How to just sit back and release control of the situation to the Lord. How to just settle down from the hurries of life and just sit. Yeah... we visited with people that came to keep us company... but, there was also a lot of sitting and waiting.

I need to get better at doing both of those things.

I pray that I don't have to learn lessons like this anymore. But, if I do... I know I will be stronger on the flip side!