I first noticed it while I was flying down a bumpy dirt road.
There was dust billowing behind our nice, "safari-style" SUV, so much so that you could barely see anything. But... that's the way it always is.
Now... one of the first things that you learn when you arrive in Malawi, is that roads are only "technically" for cars. There are far more pedestrians walking along the sides of the road than there are actual vehicles.
In the West, when we're driving down a dirt road and see so much as another vehicle, we suddenly slam on the breaks and settle into a mere stroll as we pass the other car. God forbid we expose each other to a bit of dust.
You see... in the West, dust is our enemy. We despise it. At least as far as this white boy is concerned, it better not stay on my skin for very long!
But, as I began to cringe as we stormed past countless people in our SUV, absolutely enveloping them in a cloud of dust that, from my perspective, would surely lead them to an early death from a clogged lung... I noticed something.
No one bats an eye. Or for that matter... no one closes their eyes!
It absolutely baffled me for weeks.
Everyone knows that if you do something like that in America, certain "fingers" would be flying up out of the dust, and certain words would be shouted in the general direction of your car.
But, things are just different here.
Although it took me a little while to figure it out, I'm finally beginning to realize that it seems like dirt is just not at the top of the list of priorities of many people here.
Now... don't misinterpret me. Africans are not just a bunch of dirty heathens, running around eating dirt for dinner. The last thing I want to do is portray that kind of image!
But... for me, it was key to understanding just a little bit more about this culture.
The fact is... in just about every situation, we see things completely different. Our priorities are almost always different.
In the West, we like to be clean. For just about everyone, that's pretty high on the list. We like, not only our bodies to be clean, but we like everything to be clean! Clothes... House (inside and out)... Cars (so everybody will know just how rich we are)... Kids... Pets... Streets... Heck, we even like our drainage ditches to be nice and clean!
You're getting the point right.
Don't get me wrong... I, too, am very particular about being clean! And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing.
But... that's just not the way things are around here. It's not that things couldn't be that way... it's just that people don't really seem to think it's that big of a deal.
I mean... they sweep the trash out of the dirt floors of the houses they live in and all... but at the end of the day, they aren't going to worry about being dirty when they hit the sack... and when I say "sack", I mean that quite literally! In the village, people sleep on no more than a mat that is made from reeds. Cushioning is a mere luxury.
Now... why in the world am I writing about dirt? Am I just trying to make the rest of the world think that Africans are dirty people that are just "primitive"?
Well... I want you to realize that culture is a very powerful thing! And for me... "dirt" was just the beginning of me noticing the differences of how we see things.
There are many things about the way that Malawians see the world that I wish I could ingrain in myself.
Priorities...
For Malawians... People are always priority! It doesn't matter what you were previously doing or are about to start doing... if someone comes over to your house, that plan suddenly doesn't exist anymore. Or it is at the very least, bumped back to a later time. It would just be unheard of for someone to come to you for a visit, and for you to say, "Oh sorry... I was just on my way to the market. You'll have to come back later."
People are always at the top of the list.
Respect is also enormous in this culture!
Everyone knows their place in society, and each person knows exactly how they should relate to others. No one breaks protocol. EVER! You would, under no circumstance, ever refer to an adult by their first name... even if you are an adult as well. Only children are referred to by their first names. That even goes for husband and wife relationships. You call each other Bambo (father or mister) or Mayi (mother or miss). That concept is just so far out of my realm of thought!
The elderly are absolutely revered in Malawi. You would never disrespect an elderly person or question their authority.
Visitors are also given the utmost respect and hospitality. You always bring out your best. Your best seat... your best food... your best time. This was something that was really hard for me at first. As a white visitor, I am placed right up there under God. The whole world stops when I come to visit someone in a village. These people have so very little, yet, they offer me their best. My first reaction is to always want to just reject it and play the lowly foreigner card. I always want to just sit on the ground next to all the ladies rather than in the comfortable chair they have set out for me. It's really hard for me to want to eat the food they prepare for me, when I know that their children aren't going to eat as much because I am there. However, for me to reject their hospitality would be so offensive. Because, they truly mean it. They aren't just going through the motions to save face. They are honored that you are there... always!
Another thing is time. Time is never an issue. Most people don't even know what time it actually is. It's either on the hour or half past the hour. You never get more specific than that. Things are not driven by time, they are driven by events. An event starts when everyone gets there, and it ends when everyone wants to go home. It really doesn't matter how long that takes. That even goes for things like weddings. Now in the West... that's probably one of the most "on time" things that we have. Two minutes before a wedding is supposed to start, the doors close and you better have a seat somewhere! Here... a wedding can be "scheduled" for 3:oo. The bride and groom and preacher probably wont even arrive at the church until 4:00, and the ceremony won't really get underway until around 5:00. No big deal... at the end of the day, they still got married!
Things are just different.
Not bad... just different.
I am reminded of it every time I see people just getting covered in dust without batting an eye, and I brush off my bottom each and every time I get up from sitting on the ground!
