**chirp chirp...chirp chirp...**

Have you ever eaten by yourself?

Well... that's a stupid question. We've all eaten by ourselves...

What I mean is, have you ever eaten all by yourself?

I mean, it was only a few short months ago when I was a lowly college student. I was really accustomed to eating by myself (well, until I learned the best kept secret in town... dinner at the Hendricks!). But, there were those few and far between nights when I would cook myself a nice meal and eat on the couch with no one else around.

It was OK though. See... back in college, I had this perfect system. I would start cooking at like 5:30 or 6:00... It was all about the TBS primetime! While I was cooking, I could watch Seinfeld, which really wasn't all that important to me, but it made for some good background noise. Then, usually by the time I was done in the kitchen, I would park it on the couch just in time to have dinner with my favorite dysfunctional family... the Barones... Everybody Loves Raymond baby!! Then, if I didn't have anything going on that night, I would just keep sitting for another hour or so and catch some Friends.

It was a really nice routine... not gonna lie!

But, that's not what I'm talking about...

I said have you ever eaten all by yourself...

Just you...

You and the food on your plate.

Well... I have now had that experience on quite a few occasions. Now... before you start shedding a tear for me or all start calling me at dinner time so I have to talk with my mouth full, this isn't an "everyone have pity on Ryan" post. Those posts will come later... just kidding!

But, if you haven't... I challenge you to try it. I'm not really saying it's some awesome experience or anything, but at least you can say you've done it.

Here's what my experience has been...

I cook this awesome meal (we're talking "awesome" in African terms... don't think that I'm the next up and coming chef or anything), then I walk on into my living room, park it on the couch, and then sit there awkwardly. It's like the whole time I'm expecting a TV to magically appear and the remote to be handed to me by the angel Gabriel (if you're wanting something to be praying about... there's your suggestion)!

I feel like Pavlov's Dog! I'm conditioned to reach for that remote control. It's so weird... you would think that I would be a little more comfortable with myself. I mean, I know there isn't going to be a TV magically appearing... but, that doesn't stop me from getting online and trying to find a short video to keep me occupied. Even then, I know my internet is nothing short of an evolved turtle, and I won't be able to get anything from that. (*Side note: I really did try that tonight! I'm such a loser!!)

Other times, I will just leave a book open beside me. It's impossible for me to actually read anything while I'm chewing (you should try that as well)... but, it's like a security blanket or something.

But... I really think there is a lot to learn about yourself when it's just you, the food on your plate, and the dogs barking outside down the street. I don't think I've ever really noticed what the refrigerator sounds like... but I do now!

If you're waiting for me to break out into something super spiritual, don't get your hopes too high. This is just an observation. It's actually what I was thinking while I was eating by myself tonight! No joke... my plate is sitting right next to me right now as I type, begging for me to give it a bath.

So... if you have some spiritual connection that you want to make here... please, use the comment section to tell the world... well, at least tell me! That would be really helpful!

But, if you haven't ever experienced it, you should go for. I mean... in order to really do this in the States, you may have to go to the bathroom and just eat on the toilet or something... that could be the only room that lacks a TV in the house.

OK, now I'm just rambling.

Like I said... don't feel sorry for me or anything. I'm not about to slit my wrist because I don't have anyone staring at me while I eat. I'm OK!

But... don't take company and community for granted. It's such a beautiful thing!

If you're not a regular here, and are looking for something a little more serious and about Africa... keep reading...