Meaningless Insight #2: Noises

They never cease.

The difference between noises here and the ones at home is that at home, we create other background noises that drown everything out.

So, in the simplicity of an uncluttered moment in time, you find a wild array of things still present to beat incessantly on your ear drums.

Some of the sounds that will forever be burnt into the memory of my ears are the following...

1.) The hooting of horns on cars. (Hooting is Chichewa for what "honking" is in Texas)

I can be laying in bed late at night, and in the distance I will hear someone blaring their horn over and over again. You see, most people in my neighborhood have someone that guards their property at night. A guard makes for a handy person to open the gate for you after you've come in late. Granted, at midnight, a simple, single touch to the horn would certainly get the job done in getting the attention on the guard on duty. But, oh no! You have to press it over and over and over and over, because that guard just isn't ever quick enough! (Except for ours... Bester is always on the ball!)

There are also the horns that sing together during mid-day traffic in town. Mini-bus drivers are by no means unacquainted with that blessed instrument. Rather than sitting quietly in an extremely congested mess of angry mini-bus drivers against angelic drivers like myself, it is imperative that you honk repetitively so that everyone knows that you are present.

2.) Dogs going crazy outside of my window.

There are certainly nights that the Texan comes out in my extreme desire to call on my right to bear arms and bring a little silence to the neighborhood. The dog that resides within feet of my bedroom window is always on some form of doggy happy pills or something. She stays caged up for the duration of the day and is only let out at night. But, when you let that dog free, she is free indeed! Free to jump all over you with her dirty paws... and free to bark as much and as loud as she wants!

It also doesn't help that pretty much every single compound in our neighborhood owns at least one dog. So, once one gets going, you suddenly have a chorus of sounds from Hell.

3.) Sawing.

You may be thinking that this one is a little off. "How on earth does the sound of a ridged blade chewing away at wood end up on this list... Is this gonna be one of those save the rainforest posts?!"

Well... pretty much each and every morning of my time here in Blantyre (save the single oasis of Sunday morning)... at about 6:30-7:00, the rhythm begins. Just a steady up and down motion. It's the sound of the carpenter that builds stuff for our mission, hard at work with his hand saw or wood plane. It's one of those things that you would think could possibly have a soothing, "put you to sleep" feel to it, but it just doesn't. I toss and turn and curse the day this man was born, until I finally unveil myself from the mosquito net, pour myself a cup of coffee and repent for the horrible things I thought about this man.

4.) German children playing happily in the A.M.

This one is closely tied to the previous. Another weird one for sure... German kids... Africa. It doesn't measure up does it?

Well... I live on the same property as a wonderful family from Germany that have 4 incredible kids. They really are a great family. The kids are all pretty small... and something about kids that are about that size and the tension in their vocal cords just does not produce a wrest-conducive environment.

At about 7:00 am, just after the instrumentality of the sawing has begun... suddenly there appear lyrics. Very loud lyrics with strange accents. Playing mere feet from the sleeping giant, yet apparently oblivious to what lay behind the blue curtains in my room. They run and play happily, screaming things back and forth to each other in a language that gives me one more thing to repent of over my cup of coffee.

5.) Static Radios.

This one goes right along with the other wake-up calls. However, this phenomenon is usually rather secluded to my time in the villages... probably because God knows exactly how much I can take.

Village life exists on a whole different time table that the rest of the world. When the sun goes down, down goes the people. When the sun comes up, up comes the people... except for one particular white one. The good thing is... it feels quite natural to head to bed around 9:00 when you have no lights or anything to give you something to do. So, waking up at the crack of dawn isn't all that crazy. But still... come on.

People just don't even think about the fact that one person could possibly still be asleep. So, they talk outside of their quiet voices, slam doors, and blare their radios way too early!

There is nothing that will make you realize where you are faster than a static-filled radio blaring something in a different language right outside your window. Usually, soon after the frustration and negative thoughts in my mind have passed, I just kinda chuckle to myself... thankful that I'm in Malawi.

6.) Rain.

Early on in the rainy season, I wrote about my thoughts on rain.

Although the documentation of the actual way that rain sounds still stands true... the degree of my love toward rain (e.g. "I say 'Boooo' to the man that wrote the song: 'Rain, rain go away... Come again some other day.' That song is just lame anyway...") has definitely had its ups and downs. I have pretty much been the author of that song for the last month or so, as rain has visited us on virtually a daily basis.

7.) Screaming people.

Whether it's people screaming for a mini-bus to stop, people screaming to get someone's attention, or people just screaming with delight... it's there.

Screaming.

Don't get a picture of some warlike situation where people are carrying machetes and yelling "Death to the government"... that's not what I mean at all. I think people just express themselves more here. They aren't afraid to be loud. In many cases, you just plane have to be loud!

8.) "Azungu! Azungu!"

I feel like I have these words taped across my shiny white forehead! They are repeated over and over and over again as I walk, drive or stand in a village. Every kid and their dog are yelling in unison, "AZUNGU! AZUNGU!". This is the word for "White person".

Your first few weeks here are the honeymoon stage. I used to tilt my head and smile at the cute little kids that loved me so much. I just couldn't get enough of it. Then, I think around the thousandth time that word hits your ears, something clicks. Suddenly, you just have this insatiable urge to be called anything other than "Azungu".

Call me "Hey!"... Call me "What's up?"... Call me "Jesse Jackson!" for all I care... Just enough with the "Azungu".

But, like all things, you come to terms with the realization that this is yet another fact of life. Kids in Malawi are always going to yell "Azungu" at white people. They do it because they are excited... it's not to torment me or to show me glimpses of what Hell could be like.

So... although I would have picked a different mantra for my life... "Azungu" will just have to do.


Well... I have racked my brain to try and make this a list of 10, but I feel like this just about sums up the major sounds that I hear a lot of. If you have been to Africa, or you live next door to me and can think of other things, feel free to comment for the readers.

So, you may be wondering now... "how does this boy stay sane?!"

I DON'T!!!

Just kidding...

Well... just this week we had a public holiday. I was pretty excited about it. Don Chilembwe Day (the name may be a little off). I could think of no better way to ring in this great day that celebrates one of Malawi's heroic freedom fighters, than to stay under my mosquito net for as long as possible. In order to accomplish this, I knew I would have to be creative. So, I made sure that all of my windows were tightly secured, and the curtains were pulled, in order to ensure the utmost sound control. Then I brought my fan into my room and turned on high for some white noise, and made it face the corner. I was sure that these attempts would certainly drown out the sawing, screaming and barking enough to buy me a few extra minutes of rest. And... although those things were definitely still there, and they definitely still woke me up earlier, I was able to get a few extra minutes of contentment in before the coffee.

So... there you go... Noises.