The Kids are Coming Around...

Odd stares...

Whispering among themselves when I walked by...

The predictable burst of tears and cries of terror when I would reach a 15 foot radius of the smallest of them...

These are the things that I was experiencing day in and day out with the kids that live on our compound.

I mean... it was really starting to get to me. I have always been one of those people that's really good with kids. I love kids. They usually love me. Things just weren't adding up.

It's one thing when I'm out in a village where kids don't see white folk that often and a little kids screams in terror... I can handle that. I would probably do the same! But, it's a completely different thing when the kids that see you every single day for months on end still look at you like you just slaughtered their cat!

Since I'm usually all about conspiracies and such, I was pretty much convinced that these kids were being fed lies about me by their parent's or something. I just knew that each night before they went to bed, they were told horror stories about a crazy white man chopping up little kids and eating them for breakfast, and then they would flash pictures of ME in front of them!!

It became this running joke between me and their parent's. I would ask them in a joking way what they were telling their kids to make them hate me so much that I can't even tell a family member hello without making a kid go postal on me.

I started strategizing a few weeks ago about how to break through this problem. It pretty much became a mission for me!

One thing that came to mind was my funny little hat. I wear this hat quite nearly every day... the only exception is Sunday or if the President is coming to visit my house or something... other than that, I'm sporting my little Castro-cap 24/7! So, maybe the hat freaks out the little ones? So, I started some experiments... remove the cap when approaching child. STILL... nothing!

Finally... I came to the point where I could find my identity in Christ and I just didn't need the approval of children any longer. So what if they think I'm the spawn of Satan... I'm sure there are plenty of little white kids back home that think I'm the stuff (or at least tolerate me).

Then, last weekend after church, it was a beautiful day. For some really odd reason, I got this foreign urge to initiate a football (soccer for Americans) kicking (*not really a game... just kicking it around... so I'll term it "football kicking") with some of the kids that live around here.

This may come as a shock to pretty much anyone that has ever heard of my existence. I'm just not really the sportsy type. I mean... for those of you that get off to that kind of stuff... good on ya... but, it ain't me... I ain't no fortunate son.

But, after spending like 3 hours in our backyard just kicking the ball around until my bare foot was blood red, I began to notice something. The kids were acting as if they had been released from some white boy hating prison! It was fantastic!!

I would say something in Chichewa to them and they would all start giggling and mocking me and stuff... so, I would just run up to a little kid and throw him over my shoulder and run around the yard. Then all the kids would start mocking me and I would have to throw them all around. Fun times...

But now... 5 days later... those kids still go crazy when they see me coming. Just today, one little smart alack 5 year old started mocking me the same way they were doing on Sunday... so, once again... I had to throw him over my shoulder and run around the yard with him screaming.

So... I'm pretty much on cloud 9 now that the neighborhood kids don't think that I'm Cruella de Vil's husband.

Mission accomplished... now, on to curing the world of AIDS!