"Hungry Boss... Give me money..."

Sometimes when I'm driving around town, I don't necessarily have a chance to take everything in. I mean... If I want to leave this country without a charge of "man-slaughter" on my hands (for all you people that have different laws from us in the USA... that means running over someone for all intensive purposes), then I had better pay attention to what's going on within my immediate vicinity.

The trouble is... there is just so much to see right outside your window. It's so different from life in America. There are actually people... not in vehicles... walking around as you drive by. Lot's of them.

**Just a side note: Yesterday, as the clutch went out on our car while I was driving it in town and I suddenly realized I was going nowhere... I had to jump out of the car in the middle of town and begin pushing. I'll just be honest... I can't imagine having to do this at home. I would feel so embarrassed and I'm quite sure people would be yelling at me as they drove by and throwing angry hand signals in my general direction that would make me feel really small. I was in the car with 2 girls... and we all made the comment that we never feel afraid when we have car problems here in Malawi. It's so true. The second your car breaks down, you have about 10 people helping you push it off the road, and 3 of those people are probably already trying to fix the problem for you. It's so amazing! At home, when we see someone stranded with car trouble, we push on the accelerator instead of the break.

Anyway... as I was saying... There is a lot to see outside the windshield.

A few days ago, I was just driving down a road that I go down many times a week. I was in a hurry. So, I whipped through the intersection and was on my way. But, as I passed, I noticed something and was taken aback. In the middle of the road, there was a guy begging. That wasn't what I was taken aback by. In fact, the reality of beggars at every single street corner approaching the car is just something that doesn't phase me anymore. I've even developed a system* in regard to beggars that I feel goes along with my convictions and helps me with the reality that I can't help every single one of them.

But, it wasn't until after I passed by and took a double take in my mirror that I realized that this guy had no legs from the knee down. He wasn't in a wheelchair either. He was literally in the middle of the road with his knees to the hot, mid-day asphalt begging for money.

As I drove on, my mind began to wonder a bit. It kinda bothered me that I could just drive past something like that and continue to feel this sense of normalcy. I mean seriously... what happened in this guy's life that brought him to the point of crawling on the steamy road, dodging traffic and begging for a few coins that people are quite reluctant to give.

Since it was already on my mind, a few minutes later, while stopped at a light, I glanced over at this elderly lady sitting on the sidewalk. The light had just turned red, so I had some time to just watch. I watched her sit, absolutely motionless... with her had stretched out in the shape of a cup, her head tilted slightly towards the earth... I'm quite sure that the entire time I watched her, she didn't even blink. People walked briskly by her without really noticing she was there... kinda like a rock or a pothole... you just dodge it, but don't really think about it.

It wasn't until just a few weeks ago that I even noticed this type of beggar. There are just so many people that are asking for money around town. It's really like this vast sub-culture. Most of them are children that will follow you for blocks saying things like: "Hungry boss... give me money. Please, boss... I need money." Then there are the people that are cripple that sit stationary and just ask from a distance. Then there are the women that sit in different places or occasionally approach you for money. Then there are the blind or really elderly people that are led around by a grandchild, and the child asks for money on behalf of the other person.

But, for some reason, it has taken me 7 months to notice this other group of beggars. The ones that look as if the life has been virtually sucked right out of them and replaced with stone. They sit on a sidewalk where thousands of people pass them throughout the day, and they never move an inch (at least not while I'm looking). Their heads are always drooping down as to not make eye-contact, and they just leave their hand out for coins to fall from heaven.

It's just been baffling me lately. I just can't help but wonder to myself what they think about all day long. They aren't talking to people... their just sitting and starring. Are they thinking about their family back home? Are they thinking that their life really sucks? Are they thinking that people don't even notice them? Or have they lost all thoughts?

I have no answers. I just wonder.

As crappy as it is to live in a place where you are faced with these realities day in and day out, I have gained a whole new understanding of the passages in scripture where Jesus heals people on the street or even just bends down and gives them the time of day.

I never really realized how completely counter-cultural those actions were. It was by no means the popular thing to do... and I'm quite sure that he probably got some really funny looks.

But, it also drives home the theme that we see throughout the whole of scripture... God has this interesting love, concern, romance type thing going on with the poor. He literally dips down to the bottom of the bucket every time. He walks right by the rich and powerful and extends his hand to the "nobodies". To the ones that don't have a voice to make him look good. To the ones that don't have extraordinary voting power to move him up in the system. To the ones that will never be able to pay him back one cent for his kindness and generosity.

Oh, we have a lot to learn.

I struggle writing these types of things because I don't want to perpetuate the idea that most people have about Africa... that it's a continent full of people with their hands stuck out asking for money. That's not true.

But, it is a reality. There are poor. They do need a voice. And we do need to stop, look at them and reach out a hand. Yes, we need to recognize that there are successful people all over the place in Malawi... but, just like anywhere else in the world, the poor should not be washed away just to make the rich feel better.

*My personal system for helping beggars:
First let me start by saying that I am so bad at this! I walk past so many people that genuinely need help, and because I get annoyed or am in a hurry, I don't give them the time of day. I need so much refinement in my life still. However, after being here for a few months, I realized that I could not claim to be a disciple of the guy that walked so closely with these people and be OK with literally turning my head and not acknowledging them when they approach me.

The trouble I was having is that there are just so many people that ask for money. If I gave to every single person, then the next day, I would have to pull up a seat next to them and stick out my hand as well. And... I'm pretty sure that, just like everywhere else in the world, there are those with genuine needs, and there are those that know that begging is their most profitable way of making a living. I hate that reality. I hate not being able to trust.

With all that going through my head, I decided that I would develop a system to go by (loosely). The first thing I decided was that I would not give money to children. I know that half my supporters just called SIM to get their money back! But, there is a good reason. A whole lot of street children actually have homes that they can go to. However, they run away from those homes and prefer a life on the street for whatever reason. When I give them money, I am simply enabling them to stay on the street. I'm saying, "you don't need your family... you can get all the help you need right here from the hand of a stupid foreigner, so why not stay where you are." For the children that really don't have families to go to, there are places that reach out to street children. I actually made this decision based on talking with one such place. Now, I don't think that we shouldn't support street children. But, I think that money would be much better spent investing in a place that knows what they're doing, and can really help get these kids off the street instead of keeping them on it.

Secondly, I will rarely give to some random guy that looks like he's perfectly able to work for money. I just don't think that begging should ever be your first option. I think it's only a result of a flawed system. I also think that it's not very Biblical... especially for Christians to be doing.

But, the reality is... the "system" (humanity) is deeply flawed. So... I am more willing to give to a lady that looks like she has children and just isn't making ends meet. This is because I know what this society is like for women. They don't get the opportunities that women get in a lot of other places in the world. Until that system changes, I feel that I can't just ignore their need.

Lastly, I am most willing to give to someone that is visibly disabled. They obviously are not able to get a job like the rest of us. And... I guess it's just because Jesus paid special attention to these types of people. He never turned his nose up at them and walked away. He also never just gave them small pocket change either... but, that's a whole other lesson!

Like I said, even though I have this "system" in place... I still walk by most people and just smile and say hello. I know... I'm still a filthy sinner! I also know that money is such a crappy thing to throw at someone. I wish I could spend intensive time devoted to really helping these people. I'm still trying to work that out in my life.

Another thing to add... money is not nearly as important as a smile. Even though I rarely give people money... I try my hardest not to ignore them. I enjoy rolling down my window to say hi and joke with a guy trying to sell me a bag of little minnows to make a few cents. And... I think that brings more life to a person that any amount of money. Also, if I am coming from the market or grocery store and have food with me, I will usually offer someone saying they are hungry a banana or something. Sadly, a lot of times they will say that they don't want it, but they want money. I respond, "Pepani - I'm sorry".

** I chose the picture for this post because it wasn't of a person. I don't want to dehumanize someone by putting their photo on the internet and labeling them a "Beggar". But, just like dirty laundry... this issue is painful to really try and deal with in our own cultures, yet desperately need to be washed.